happy/sad

Sigh.

I have a love/hate relationship with the way my life is right now. I love living so close to all the people who are near and dear to me. Plus, with Hailey being in daycare, I have days to get stuff done! I really don't like having to pay for the daycare though, good thing we have savings. I hate job hunting. I can't wait until I find a job home and can be done with it. I hate living in apartments, I'm so ready to be in a house. I'm contemplating moving into a rental house once our lease is up, but rental houses cost more and that means more time saving up to buy a house. I hate the lack of space here. I need an office for my computer/graphic work, but I have a tiny desk set up in our ONE living space. It sucks. I hate not having as much money from me working, like I said, I cannot wait until I get a job (plus once I do, I'll stop complaining about it on here!).

I got CS3 in the mail a week ago, including my Dreamweaver tutorial CD. I have decided that I am not a fan of web design, it is way more coding than designing. I don't enjoy it as much as simply designing things. Who knows, maybe the tutorial will get better, but as far as building CSS websites, it sucks.

Last weekend when the people we were going to do stuff with couldn't get together, I realized the serious lack of friends I have. After a falling out with 3 of my friends (which really resulted in loss of contact with like 10 friends), I have a very, very small "group" of friends. It was pretty ugly, and even though it happened in February of 2006, I am still recovering. That sucks too. Plus, I am the kind of person who goes for quality instead of quantity, so it takes me awhile to make friends, at least good friends. This is another area that REALLY gets me down sometimes. The sad part is, sometimes I think I miss the people who "broke" my heart. I'm crazy. I am thankful that Jordan has been here for me though-out this entire thing, because if I was by myself, I don't think I would have recovered as quickly.

I am super excited to be graduating in May!! I am also excited to have an interview on March 18th!

So there it is, how I am feeling at this moment. I thought it might be "therapeutic" to get it down in words, but was it acutally? Eh, possibly.